Making Friends...

The view on a hike up Knox mountain with a friend from class. 

As so many people have expressed, making new friends as an adult can be very hard! From my move, I have really reflected on what it means to be a friend and the many different kinds of friends we keep for different purposes. Kelowna is known as having a ‘unwelcoming’ nature, cliques and a difficult place to meet people. I decided to challenge that stereotype and have, for the most part found quite the opposite. Have I met unfriendly people- of course. Do I want them to be my friend? Of course not!

Being in school has definitely helped me socially, as I have met many people with similar interests and passions. It also provides a place for casual conversation, such as ‘What are you doing after class?’ ‘Oh, a few of us are just heading out for a boat ride, want to come?’ ‘ YES!’.

My first jump in the lake,
off the boat I got invited to after class! 

Meeting new people involves a lot of yes’s. Even if I don’t feel like it. My first mantra when I moved was ‘say yes’. This got me into some uncomfortable situations... Like the time I agreed to play in a baseball tournament. Me + Baseball = butterfly watching. I reaffirmed that I actually don’t like baseball, and don’t need to say yes to EVERYTHING. But, I did meet some great people, and I got to spend the day with some friends from school, outside of class time. Luckily, I think they still liked me enough after all the butterfly watching in the outfield and we can still be friends....I hope!

Maik and I on a wine tour. 

In addition to ‘say yes’, I also had to just put myself out there. Like the time I FINALLY said to my ‘balcony neighbour’ “Hi, I’m Kendra, I always see you out here, so I figure I might as well introduce myself.” It only took me about a month (or more) to get the courage to say Hi. Now, Maik is probably one of my best friends in Kelowna!

I have also joined events and groups, no matter how scared I was, unfit I thought I might be (there are some incredible athletes here!), how awkward I thought it might be, or any other excuse I could conjure up in my head, I went anyways. No matter what...and so began the adventures of open water swimming and biking… a test of both my physical and mental abilities...

Into the world of supply teaching...

The views on my drives  to
 work definitely beat the 404!

Back to zero seniority, I began my days as a supply teacher. I was very much looking forward to getting back to being with the kids again. Their energy, positivity and outlook on life is probably my favourite part of teaching. What I had totally forgotten, after having my own classroom for the past few years, was all those fancy tricks to remembering names quickly, getting the kids attention quickly and the general supply teaching skill set. Day one was a huge shock. What do you mean these kids just naturally don't listen and are so excited to have a supply teacher that they hardly do any work all day?! The morning was a tough go, but by about lunch I had it much more down pat. Too bad the principal of the school happened to come and check on me in the morning and conveniently forgot to do an afternoon check-up... I guess I won't be asking him for a reference!

Learning the new routines of the school board, classrooms and schools is tough. We often take for granted our familiarity with routine and how simple it makes our daily life patterns and interactions. While I think there is some value in routine, but we also need some novelty to keep us flexible and on our toes, always moving forward.  Keeping this in mind, I embraced the new routines and learned them the best I could.

Passing orchards and wineries on the way.

There are some major advantages to supply teaching. My personal favourite is the lack of variety in clothes. This is especially beneficial for someone who left many of her clothes back home, to be brought out at a later date. I could wear the same thing each day, and no one would know! It really takes away that whole staring at your closet, groggily wondering what to wear moment in the morning. Shhhh, don't tell my secret ;) I also enjoyed the simplicity of arriving before the bell and leaving right after, no take home work.

While supply teaching is great, what I miss most is the relationships. Relationships with the kids, getting to know them, their strengths and needs. The little quirks that make each of them unique. Relationships with other staff members, the friendly banter in the staff room at lunch, the supportive head nods and glances in the hallway. And the familiarity of at least knowing where the bathroom was.

On that topic of relationships...now that I had made the drive, sorted out a place to live and work...It was time to start making some new friends...

Waiting for move in day...

View from my temporary
resort style accommodation

Waiting can be hard, especially during a time of unrest. Did I make the right decision? Is my new home really a good location choice? Coutless other overthinker questions were running through my head, on over speed. I needed a distraction.

 I had gotten some bittersweet news on my drive to Kelowna. My work orientation, which was originally scheduled for the first Tuesday after my arrival, was rescheduled for a week later. Bitter: I really wanted to make that extra money supply teaching and it would be that distraction I was craving so desperately. Sweet: I had a whole 6 extra days to adjust to my new home without worrying about the possibility of getting called to work.

6 days. Empty. I knew they would fill up, but I wasn't ready to be on my own yet and reflect on all of the changes that have gone on in my life in the past 10 days. Luckily, my sister came to the rescue. The phone call went something like this. "So, I know for sure I won't have to work and the place I am staying in has unlimited access to a pool and hot tub. Plus, it's about 30 degrees here and sunny. And I have an extra comfy queen bed, in its own bedroom just for you." It didn't take much convincing for her to make the 4 hour drive and join me in my temporary resort style living.

Public disclaimer.
She was happy with her pedicure.

She came. We chatted, shopped, explored, 'wined and dined' and did all things vacation'y and girl'y. Including taking her for her first pedicure. She was very apprehensive about spending the money, but several latter texts would confirm her true enjoyment. I especially the one that read "confession: I REALLY like having a pedicure." Older sisters are wiser and know all ;)

I will be forever thankful for the days she spent with me, but it was time for her to head back home. It was almost time for my orientation as a new supply teacher in the local school district. The distraction I had wished for...my adventures into the world of supply teaching...

A place to live...

The Mission Creek Trail, a quick
10 minute walk from my condo

The Okanagan housing market is absolutely insane right now. Basically, act fast or lose out. This not an ideal set up for someone who just moved here and has no idea where they want to live!

I had my heart set on downtown. I wanted in the action, the events, the coffee shops, the people watching. I wanted it all. And I got the total opposite!

It was a hard choice, but I have decided to live outside of the downtown core. Life is about compromises. This decision really taught me that. I also kept in mind some wise advice from a good friend: Be true to you. No matter what. I had some serious evaluating to do and hardly any time to actually think about it. Why did I come here? Why did I want out of Toronto? In being really true to me, though I was not ready to admit it to myself yet, I wanted easy access to the lake, bike paths and a quiet place to live, with an outdoor space. Thanks dad for helping me realize that. It can be easy to discredit how much others, outside observers, can really know us, sometimes before we even know ourselves.

My new outdoor space.
Disclaimer: this was taken well after move in day

So I did it. I was true to me. I moved here for many different reasons, but one of the things I really wanted was a change from was being right in the city. I wanted the outdoors. Bike paths. Lake access. Swimming. Walking trails. I signed my life away on the dotted line.

Reflections: making life decisions (that you think are big at the time) is tough. I wonder if I will ever get good at it? Or maybe these decisions are just not as big as we think they are?




And so the decision was made, my new home to be was almost mine... I just had to wait for move in day...

And so it begins...

I always have a blog narrative running through my head. "This would be great to write about in a blog... If I were writing a blog, it would say this..." So here goes. My reflections on my life's adventure to the (no so wild) west.

It has been a long, busy and exciting past 2 months! Yes, I have been gone for exactly 2 months today since I pulled out of the driveway, my car practically exploding of my many carefully selected belongings.

The drive out with my dad was wonderful. I was extremely glad to have his company, guidance and help. He was just the right amount of calm, yet forward moving energy for such a big trip. We drove many long days. Some highlights of the drive for me were driving through Kapuskasing, where a good friend of mine grew up, the copious amounts of logging trucks we saw, and finally crossing the boarder into BC. I especially loved it when he was DJ and his first choice of song to play was Fergie. 

The trip was a mixture of extreme excitement and extreme nervousness. I tried desperately to only think about the upcoming excitement, but naturally, it was hard to not let that looming fear creep back into my thoughts. Twelve hours a day (or more!) in a car isn't really ideal for an overthinker like me. 

We did it, finally arriving in Kelowna around dinner time on Friday night. We were fortunate to be welcomed by some relatives of family friends back home. I cannot describe the feeling of having such a warm welcome to a new place, from people who you have never even met before. This began my journey of firsts. 

The next morning, I ventured into my first class at UBCO. I'm hoping the smile on my face covered up all the nerves that were spinning, uncontrollably inside. What was I doing here? Can I really get back into paper writing, textbook reading and this whole school thing? At least I had a mountain view to enjoy through the window for the day... Class ended up being enjoyable, almost fun. I was pleasantly surprised at my ability to keep up with the conversation, yet also realized I have some work to do in understanding some of the deep rooted theoretical background of the discussion. 

My dad remained on for 5 days with me in Kelowna. We were like Energizer Bunnies on steroids. We drove all around town, exploring each area, evaluating the pro's and con's of where to live, getting my car fixed (the transmission was under a recall, which I was unaware of), shopping for upcoming life necessities and eventually settling on a final place to live, in Lower Mission. 

And so it begins...a place to live.